did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.