Dual....:-)
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
