ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
