Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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