Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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