can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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