I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize