You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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