How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Church boner. Awkwardddd
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Drake has all the answers
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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