I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
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He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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