whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
