Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
