I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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