apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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