Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize