hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Don't make out with my wife yet
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
