Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize