In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
