I think i sorta joined a cult last night
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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