Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
