I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
