are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I don't deserve a penis
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Randomize
