So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
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I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
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Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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