well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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