my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
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The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
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Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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