This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
