I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
