just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
