He is an equal opportunity slut.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
