her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize