How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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