Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
