I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
We got so high we made milksteak
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
