I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
