Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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