Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
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My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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