i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
