Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
