I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
