I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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