she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
