sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
