she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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