Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
