its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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