how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
