I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I think we might need a safe word for this...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
