Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
