how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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