Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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