Rock
Scissors
Fuck
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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