I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
