Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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