You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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