: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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