its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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