i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
