turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
