Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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