For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
