? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
