And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
