Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
