i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
