All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
my liver is dry heaving
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize