Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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