I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Randomize
