watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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